A Plea Regarding Twilight Hating

So most of you will remember that about two years ago I penned a relatively lengthy parody of Stephanie Meyers' Twilight. The time during which I wrote this spoof was an interesting one for the Twilight series. Breaking Dawn had just been released, and the first trailers for the Twilight movie were trickling into theaters and the internet. More interesting, however, was that I think this time represented a sort of intermediary period for the Twilight books. A transition from one era to another (if you can call the space of a few months an "era"). I remember a time, before my Twilight spoof, I think it was in 2007, that the Twilight books were not just popular amongst a devoted few but were universally adored by all girls. I cannot think of a single girl I know who didn't read the Twilight books and who wasn't a fan of them. I think interestingly it's not that girls were unaware of Twilight's shortcomings, but rather that they were aware of them and chose to ignore them. I remember during this time being specifically asked by at least three different girls to not read the Twilight series, because they knew that if I did, I wouldn't be able to help but point out the numerous inconsistencies and general ridiculousness contained therein. So I stayed away from Twilight until I think around when Breaking Dawn came out--which I think was the turning point for most girls from loving Twilight to indifference towards it--before I finally read the book.

Well, as you probably know, I found it very amusing and sappy and so I wrote a parody of it, which was relatively popular on Facebook. Shortly after my spoof though, the release date of the Twilight movie grew closer, and then Twilight really hit national attention. That's when it moved from being a girls-only property to being the subject of widespread derision. Once the movie came out, Twilight joined the ranks of those properties that are beloved by a small section of devotees but that are ridiculed and despised by the rest of the world (who feel very smug, cool, and rebellious in their hatred). Other such properties include, for instance, the Jonas Brothers, High School Musical, Hannah Montana, etc.

Now the thing you have to understand before I continue is that all of these properties do indeed suck. The Jonas Brothers are not mediocre musicians who are unjustly reviled, they are actually horrible musicians. But what I've grown so, so tired of is the endless, ubiquitous hatred of these properties, Twilight included. I think people imagine that they're being very counter-cultural and cool every time they proclaim their hatred for Twilight, but quite the opposite, I think they're just leeching off the "coolness" of putting down an easy target. And yeah, like I said before, Twilight does suck. I wrote a whole spoof revolving around its terribleness. But the Twilight books have been out for years, and the first movie came out in 2008. All the good jokes to be made about Twilight were made, and any other jokes about it at this point come across to me as only slightly more pathetic than the Twilight books and movies themselves. In fact, the only source that's really still generating amusing material from the Twilight series are the actual Twilight movies, which is why frankly, I have no complaints about them. They're hilarious films, and I've seen every one on its opening weekend.

And I can hear you now already saying, "Yeah, but I'm just so tired of Twilight being everywhere, it's like you can't escape it and I just hate that." Yeah, well a huge part of that is your own damn fault. If you and every single stupid media outlet--from The Soup to SNL to virtually every website on the internet--would just stop talking about how bad Twilight is, it wouldn't be so ubiquitous anymore. Because frankly, the main reason Twilight gets thrust into my life isn't from the actual series itself but from people mocking it either on Facebook or television or the internet. And yeah, Twilight sucks, but stop leeching off the hatred for it in an attempt to be cool. There are no more jokes to be had from Twilight, save from the movies themselves. At this point, I would rather watch a Twilight movie than a Twilight parody, because the former is bound to be a lot more entertaining and amusing than the latter, albeit unintentionally.

If people really hated Twilight as much as they purport to, I think that rather than dredging it up for a beating at every opportunity, they would just keep their mouths shut about it. But people aren't doing that and I think it's because they're really just hopping on the Twihate bandwagon. It's not that you can't or shouldn't ever diss it, I'm just sick of Twilight-hating as this incessant, ever-present sport. Hating Twilight is not cool and it's not counter-cultural, even though, yes, again, it does suck. I'm not saying you should like Twilight, and indeed you shouldn't because it's pretty awful. Just keep it down, mock it in moderation, and please don't think you're being cool for mocking it because everyone knows it's bad. To be cool in disliking something, amongst other things you have to actually be going against the status quo, which hating Twilight isn't. For God's sake, we still have two more years of Twilight movies down the road, so let's all just try to get through this unscathed.